I AM home at last…

Frost on the window pane. Inside. 

Turning the hottest room in the house frigid by dawn’s first light.

So I snuggle down deep, burrowing next to him, hand resting lightly on his belly.  Chest rising and falling, rising and falling.

Slowly.

And my breaths sync with his own.

We are one.

Becoming more one each moment, with only seven months behind us.

Pillow talking our way into morning as the sun, one eye still shut, yawns and stretches towards day.  Then boldly mounts the distant hillside, proclaiming in no uncertain terms…

I AM here.

And He is. For this is the day the Lord has made.  I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Easy words to say lying wrapped up in Dearest Husband’s arms.  Safe. Secure. Happy. Peaceful.

Perfectly content in our little corner of the universe.

Then feet hit the floor. The wood is cold beneath my toes. A sharp reminder that I must will.

Choices to be made. Each day. Even before being fully awake.

Even when I don’t want to.  Even when the current circumstance is less than.

Dearest Husband agrees and we pray for change. Believing we are one day closer. Living our dream, our second half chapter, after the darkness of nights better forgotten.

A brand new day, in the making.

Yet life is measured in moments and moments are meant to be savored. All the moments from Him. But only by Grace.

By Grace are ye saved. And by Grace we will learn the lessons of the moments.

If not, they will be squandered. They will fall away and the door will shut and they will be lost forever. And one day we will wake up, look around and ask, where did they all go?

So savor the moments, I remind myself.

How?

I AM. In every moment.

Is He?

Like a constant drip, the question nags me as I go through the morning routine, gearing up for the grind.

Yet He is.  Always there.  Arms outstretched.

But one day I forgot.  Somewhere I got lost a little. Tangled up in what my eyes only could see. Choosing to ignore the spiritual joys that are just beyond the veil, to squeeze tight the bird in hand. Which flew away and died. Better off dead.

Something best was within grasp if only I would stretch out my withered hand.

And so I did. With palms upraised, lifted high, like a four year old longing for Daddy’s arms.

I need Him to pick me up.

Do you?

Then seek Him.  And I will too.  For all He is.  Just because.

He loves us.

And this is the only place we will find life.  Where our dreams, that are really His ancient plans all new, can come true.

I steal but a few moments with Him before the hustle and bustle sucks me in. Suffocating hope again. Churning despair in the deep parts.

I hear Him say, in barely a whisper, I AM.

I AM here and I have not moved.  But, where have you wandered, Little Girl, Little Boy?

I long to be there. To live there.  In His arms. Always.

Years ago, I was.  Much more closely.  Before a spell of sinful choices knocked me off course for a while.

Until God, in His great mercy, said enough.  And tenderly took hold of my heart again.  Set my feet on Holy Ground.  Dried my tears.

Rescued.

Then He sent me a very godly husband.

A man who inhales Jesus with each breath, bringing life and love to every fiber of his fabric, so warm and cozy, making every exhale an Alleluia…

I am wearied from traveling in a land far from home. So I keep seeking.  Holding my partner’s hand. My life’s love who helps me see Him better. Who spurs me on with his prayers when I am tired. Whose shepherd’s crook nudges me when I get a little out of line.

Are you weary, too?  Do you need to catch your breath? Do you need to return to the safety of His embrace?

Seek, wearied traveler.  Seek Jesus, the One who loved you so much He gave His life.

Seek with us.  And we with you.  All of us together.  The way it was always meant to be.  Loving. Longing for what is yet to be…while living fully in every moment of the here and now.

And one day we will arrive at the celestial city, all gold and gleaming, and the gates will fling wide open and we will walk through…Welcomed.

At last…I AM. Home…

No condemnation…

From time to time I’ve come across someone who has put their faith in God by trusting in his Son, Jesus, for their righteousness, yet they are assailed with fear and condemnation by a passage of scripture found in the Epistle to the Hebrews.

 For if we go on sinning willfully after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a certain terrifying expectation of judgment, and the fury of a fire which will consume the adversaries. Anyone who has set aside the Law of Moses dies without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. How much severer punishment do you think he will deserve who has trampled under foot the Son of God, and has regarded as unclean the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has insulted the Spirit of grace? (Hebrews 10:26-29)

The faith of these dear ones strikes me as sincere as evidenced by the conduct of their life. Far from perfect, they nevertheless go about life quite differently than they used to, the Master’s words taken to heart and his Spirit quickening their conscience towards both their heavenly Father as well as their earth-bound brothers and sisters. Even so, they fear this passage applies to them because they either remember or are in the very midst of stumbling—sometimes badly! They have done wrong even in the face of knowing it to be so.

Welcome to the Church, the body of Christ…

I don’t say this to be trite or glib. It is simply a fact. Even the most ardent believer stumbles and sins. Remember David? It wasn’t enough that David committed adultery with Bathsheba. Upon learning she was pregnant he went so far as to have her husband murdered in a vain attempt to keep the whole thing quiet and have Bathsheba all to himself.

God called David his friend.

Then there is Peter, the disciple who denied he even knew Jesus because he was scared of the possible consequences. So he lied. Even after Christ’s resurrection from the dead, facing peer pressure, Peter took the low ground and decided for appearance sake it was better for him not to take his meals with non-Jews. That is, until Paul corrected him publicly.

The Bible is full of examples of folks who screwed up even though they loved God and proved it by lives markedly different from those of mainline society. They had “knowledge of the truth” but, on occasion, made some bad choices.

Being a follower of Christ doesn’t mean we aren’t going to sin—even willfully sometimes. What it does mean is that we aren’t going to be able to live the same sort of life we did prior to the time we believed God, repented of our self-directed life, and put our trust in Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit’s ability to clean us up and set us free from a life of continuously willful sinning, the sort where we could care less what God has to say or what claims he makes on us, his beloved children.

Happily, the same book of the Bible does have something to say to my troubled friends (and me!) about those situations where we make the poor choice to deliberately sin.

For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, And He scourges every son whom He receives.”  It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed. (Hebrews 12:6-13)

And in the book of 1 John, Chapter 1:

If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us. (vv 8-10)

Again I say, to be a Christian is to battle with sin!

So, who is this dire warning from the Bible directed to?

The verb found in the phrase, “sinning willfully” is in the present tense denoting someone whose very lifestyle is a constant stream of willful sinning. (The sort of lifestyle that was once mine until Jesus changed everything.) And there is a qualifier that we need to pay attention to as well: “after receiving the knowledge of the truth”.

It is an ominous warning! As to whom it applies, I leave this to God, who alone knows the intimacies of every human heart.

What I do know is that it doesn’t apply to anyone who is trusting Jesus to help them overcome the sin in their lives. Such a charge doesn’t have God as its source. Of this I have no doubt! Trade your fear in, dear ones, for the truth. Jesus, our Elder Brother and Savior will bring us safely home!

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus! (Romans 8:1)

~michael

Love letters …

With a certain sweetness that wraps itself around my heart and won’t let go…

Especially the good, old fashioned kind full of sentiments expressed in a flourishing script, received when least expected.

Dearest Husband is a romantic through and through, and a writer, so he gifts me with the lovliest of letters, always on his trademark yellow legal note paper. (I wouldn’t want any other stationery!)

Michael’s letters are a reminder, just for me.

He loves me.  Truly, madly, deeply.  Loving me as only a man who devotedly loves Jesus really can.

We found each other in our fifth decade, the second half, the last of our years on earth.  Great loss and sorrow preceded our ever coming together, the purging fires of God’s fierce love as it prepared us to be man and wife. And the pain has rendered our relationship all the more tender.

Beauty from ashes…

His letters, read and reread, draw me in, ever closer, like an invisible caress.  Words holding me in the dark, especially those rare times when traveling takes him far from my arms.

In that moment, I may not be able to look into my precious husband’s dark green eyes and know how he feels about me, without a word.  But his words, written, encourage and comfort my heart, assuring me that in just a little while, he and I will reunite.

That his love for me is steadfast and forever.

And isn’t this what God has done for us?

He has penned through the ages the dearest, truest love letter ever written.  A treasure in 66 books that captivates us with His redemptive love from start to finish. 

And although we may not be able to gaze into the eyes of Jesus right now, He is coming back for us.

And then He will hold us in the sweetest embrace.  And in that moment our hearts will beat anew, more whole than even before they were broken.

The bridegroom coming for his beloved, beautiful bride.

Glorious thought!

If you are anything like me, you long to hear how very much you are loved.  Not just on the 14th of February, but every day, eternally.

Let God’s word speak to your heart each day, and may it be as kisses sweeter than wine..

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.”  John 15:9

 “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness. “ Jeremiah 31:3

“But God demonstrates his own love for you in this:  While we were still sinners, Christ died for you.”  Romans 5:8

“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”  Zephaniah 3:17

“Because of his great love for you, God who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions – it is by grace you have been saved.”  Ephesians 2:4

“Love never ends.” 1 Corinthians 13:8

“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”  Matthew 28:20

~sheila

Jesus loves us all…

Big or small, young or old.

Red and yellow, black and white.

It matters not.

He loves YOU!

Let the little children come to Me, and don’t stop them, because the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”
Luke 18:16 Holman Christian Standard Bible

He loves us all. No matter what.

So let’s be like Him and love God with all our hearts and our neighbor as ourselves…

Valentine Baby photo courtesy of Ed and Lois Gordineer, used with permission
Homeless Man photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net